Mother of the Bride: Looking Back
The true role of a mother as the mother of the bride
My mother-of-the-bride journey is officially coming to an end, and if you are reading this after July 4, my daughter is officially a married woman and on her journey as Mrs. Rogers. But with magazine deadlines, I am actually writing this a few weeks before the big day and still working on the frantic last-minute details.
In my last column, I mentioned we were at the calm-before-the-storm phase. When the one-month mark hit, my daughter, Britten, went from storm to F4 tornado take-cover mode. I heard her anxiety on the phone when she said, “I’m freaking out” and “I need your help, Mom.” With texting going on at lightning speed at all hours of the day, the reality of getting everything done hit home.
The storm continued when I received another frantic phone call and could tell Britten wanted me to take sides on an issue with her fiance, Dylan.
Britten explained, “Dylan wants barbecue ribs at the rehearsal dinner!”
I replied with, “OK, so what’s the big deal?”
“Ribs are so messy!” she exclaimed.
While trying to keep my composure, I chuckled and reminded her it was just food and it really didn’t matter what was on the menu, that she was certainly overreacting. All that mattered was that we were together, having fun with friends and family. I also said if she was having anxiety about this, we were in for a long last four weeks before the wedding. I also reminded her that the rehearsal dinner is Dylan’s party and he can do whatever he wants. She calmed down and has revised some plans and knows it won’t be the end of the world if it all doesn’t get done. Her anxiety is less and so is mine.
For her bridal-dress alterations, we headed to Daniel Esquivel’s studio, where we met with his mother, Sarah, who is an accomplished and expert wedding-dress seamstress, to make some minor adjustments. This was a nice mother-daughter diversion from the mundane wedding details, and it was a chance for Britten to model and show off her dress. A few tweaks and the dress will be wedding-aisle ready.
One bridal event Britten was looking forward to was her bridal shower. Her bridal party put on a beautiful and fun celebration with family and friends on a gorgeous Saturday afternoon, complete with special photos , handwritten chalkboard messages and the design of the perfect toilet - paper bridal dress. Dressed in her pink sash bedecked with “Soon to be wifey” in crystals and a matching tiara, Britten opened up gifts to stock up her new home . As an added gift, Britten got a big surprise when she saw her grandmother walk out of the kitchen, arms stretched ready for a hug. That was a hard secret to keep but I pulled it off .
I can now reflect on my journey as mother of the bride, and what I most took away from this experience was not so much about giving Britten décor or fashion advice. It came down to me reflecting on myself and whether I had done a good enough job raising her. I just held this tiny, little human in my arms and as I looked into those eyes with her tiny hands wrapped around my finger, I promised to her that I would be the best mom I could be. I wondered what the next two decades would be like for her and who she would become.
Life has thrown curves into both of our lives, and this experience, I’ll say it, has been stressful and joyous. I cried tears when she found her dress and tears when we disagreed. There was laughter, a lesson in patience, learning to keep my mouth shut and there were several sleep-deprived nights, thanks to Pinterest.
Please join me next month as I wrap up my Mother of the Bride column series with a recap of Britten’s wedding. We will soon see how all the planning and vision comes together, and before you know it, we will officially toast to the happy couple on July 4. Cheers!
Mother of the Bride: The Engagement
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