<<<Back to Table of Contents
Lately I’ve noticed how uncomfortable I am receiving compliments (this has been going on since I was in junior high). And, I rarely share my major work accomplishments – which are pretty awesome – with my friends or family. When I get around my girlfriends, I’m self-conscious about appearing different or outshining them in any way. Yet, as I approach my 40th birthday, something inside is telling me this isn’t quite right. Maybe it’s time to stop worrying so much about what others think and speak up! Do you have any thoughts on how to begin this process?
– Melissa, 39
My coaching team and I regularly meet clients who often feel held back in their lives and careers due to insecurities, inadequacies or fears of how others will perceive them.
They often worry that if they speak their minds or score big accomplishments, their friends will say, “Who does she think she is?” They often fear that if they break away from the pack, they will be ostracized in some way. So they stay safe, play small and never really tap into their full potential – or personal power, as I like to call it.
When you begin to access and own your power, you align with your life purpose and authentic self. And you express all that you were meant to be.
As women, we often dance around, jump in and out of, or maybe dip a toe into our “pool of power” – occasionally experiencing a moment of enlightenment but then retreating again to the safety of obscurity.
Standing in your personal power takes time, practice and courage, Melissa. Here are some ways you can get started:
Find your voice. When you disagree with what is being presented, do you remain quiet? Speak your mind and express how you really feel.
Make your self-care a priority. This is one of the best ways to send a message to yourself that you are worthy. Nurture yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.
Stop caring what others think. You’ll be working on this your whole life. Imagine who you would be or what you would do if you didn’t care what others thought of you?!
Become comfortable using your masculine and feminine strengths. We all have both. Living powerfully comes from the ability to balance both energies – being assertive vs. receptive and driving for results vs. letting things unfold.
Practice being more direct and more assertive in your communication with others. Notice how people respond to the way you communicate. Do you feel good about how you state your needs and desires and communicate with others?
Break away from the pack. If you’d rather go for a hike than go see a movie with the gang – listen to your needs. Don’t just go along with what everyone else wants.
Let your light shine. Most of us are more afraid of our own light than of our own shadow.
Let others see your talents and gifts. Don’t hold back.
Become financially savvy. Creating your own nest egg, managing a household or business budget and developing a financial plan can be empowering and liberating!
Stop settling. What do you really, really want? Stop settling. The more comfortable you become owning your power, the easier it becomes to connect to your needs and desires.
UPCOMING RENÉE TRUDEAU EVENTS
March 5 – 9 | 12 pm | The Empowered Entrepreneur: Learn to work less and make more! CareerStrategists.net to register
March 23rd | 7:30 - 8:30 CST: Learn how to begin Owning Your Personal Power at a FREE global teleclass via phone with Renee Trudeau: LiveInside-Out.com
March 26th | 9:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. | Refresh & Renew Mini Self-Care Retreat: The Crossings Spa and Resort.
April 23 – 25th | Reclaim, Reflect, Re-Balance: Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings Spa and Resort
Register for all events at RenéeTrudeau.com.
Renée Peterson Trudeau is a nationally recognized career/life balance coach, speaker and president of Career Strategists. A sought-after media expert, her work has been featured in US News and World Report, Working Mother, Yogi Times, Good Housekeeping and AARP, and she regularly presents life balance workshops for corporations, organizations and at conferences around the world. Trudeau is the author of the award-winning The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life. Thousands of women around the globe are joining and becoming trained to lead self-renewal groups based on the Guide, as a way to enhance balance and well-being in their lives. RenéeTrudeau.com | CareerStrategists.net
WEB EXCLUSIVE:
GUIDED JOURNALING EXERCISE
What Does It Mean to Own Your Power?
Schedule a 20-minute break to further explore this topic. Have your journal nearby to record any additional ideas or thoughts that come up around this topic. Share your answers with a friend or your partner.
What are some ways you “own” your personal power?
How do you feel when you are standing in your personal power?
Who or what in your life/support system encourages you to stand in your power?
Who are models in your life – friends, colleagues or mentors – who own their personal power, and what is it that you admire most about them?
What needs to happen for you to more fully stand in your power?
How will you know when you are there?
TAKE ACTION
Reclaim Your Lost Quality
Pull out a picture of yourself as a young child that really captures your essence. What quality do you see in yourself as a child that is now diminished or no longer with you? Really look at the photo, study it. What trait or quality jumps out at you? What do you need to do to nurture that part of you back into light? Remember, joy, confidence, enthusiasm and curiosity are your birthright.
Tape this picture to the inside of your journal. Then, looking at the photo, write about this quality and list three things you’ll commit to do to ignite this hidden or diminished attribute within you.
When you’re done, tape up the photo and your list of action items in a place you’ll see it every day this month (your bathroom mirror, next to your bed, on your computer, etc.).
My friend Beth saw “playfulness” in her sweet one-year-old self. She said this diminished greatly when she started caring for her alcoholic mom when she was in high school. She decided to create a colorful, special altar in a corner of her room to honor her innate playfulness. She put her baby photo there along with an orange Play-Doh elephant, some purple nail polish and some bubbles. Her goal is to do one thing every day to bring out or celebrate the playful part of herself. Slowly, day-by-day, we reclaim who we are.
Renee, age 5
Excerpted from The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life by Renee Trudeau. Visit www.ReneeTrudeau.com and sign up to receive monthly life balance tips.