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I need help!
I am really feeling out of balance and know I’m overcommitted and overworked. Between all the requests for my time from work, kids and school commitments and household responsibilities, I feel like I’m spread too thin. And a lot of the activities I’m agreeing to, I don’t even enjoy, I’m just doing them out of obligation! Any ideas to help me feel less over-scheduled?
– Erica, 38
Each of us has a finite amount of energy. Think of your energy as currency: you want to make deposits into your “energy bank,” not deplete it.
One way to create more breathing room in our lives and focus on what really matters is to say no to those things that are non-essential, that drain you or that are “shoulds.”
If you’re used to always saying yes, it can be really difficult to change your pattern. But, the more you practice, the stronger you become. It’s like building a muscle. Try out the following language to support you in this new skill:
9 Creative Ways To Say No
1. Just No
“Thanks, I’ll have to pass on that.” (Say it, then shut up.)
2. The “Gracious” No
“I really appreciate you asking me,
but my time is already committed.”
3. The “I’m Sorry” No
“I wish I could, but it’s just not going to work right now.”
4. The “It’s Someone
Else’s Decision” No
“I promised my coach (therapist, etc.) I wouldn’t take on any more projects right now. I’m working on creating more balance in my life.”
5. The “My Family is
the Reason” No
“Thanks so much for the invite, but
that’s the day of my son’s soccer
game, and I never miss those.”
6. The “I Know
Someone Else” No
“I just don’t have time right now.
Let me recommend someone who may be able to help you.”
7. The “I’m Already
Booked” No
“I appreciate you thinking
of me, but I’m afraid I’m
already booked that day.”
8. The “Setting
Boundaries” No
“Let me tell you what I can do … ”
Then limit the commitment to
what will be comfortable for you.
9. The “Not No,
But Not Yes” No
“Let me think about it,
and I’ll get back to you.”
The next time you are considering a new work, family or volunteer project or commitment, pause and ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” Is this an activity that will nourish me? Is it aligned with my top life priorities, or is it a ‘should?’ ” Saying no can bring a new level of freedom and spaciousness to your life that can be exhilarating!
WEB EXCLUSIVE!
I grew up in a family where we were taught to be self-sufficient and never ask for help. As I get older, I’m realizing how exhausting this is and am also noticing many of my colleagues seem to rely heavily on support networks. I’m wondering if I might benefit personally/professionally from reaching out for help now and again? – Gayle, 50
I grew up in a similar environment and one of the hardest lessons for me to learn – but one that changed my life profoundly – was the importance of asking for and receiving help.
My coaching team and I work with professionals from around the U.S. on career changes, launching new businesses and identifying, finding and creating work that is a fit for them inside and out.
We find that people who are comfortable asking for and receiving help – whether that’s from a coach, a therapist, a mentor, professional organization, business partner or colleague – experience greater success and feel more connected and confident at home and at work.
Having a support system can have a huge impact on how you experience day-to-day life. Research shows that individuals who have robust support systems:
– are more effective at work and at home (they feel as if they have a “team” behind them)
– keep resolutions, particularly those involving their health and physical well-being
– weather personal and professional challenges more easily
– are less likely to feel overwhelmed and find it easier to maintain perspective
– stay healthier on all levels – mentally, physically and emotionally
– are less likely to feel isolated (isolation can lead to feelings of despair and failure)
– experience less stress and burnout
– have children who are comfortable asking for and receiving support and help from others
There is no need to feel like you’re out at sea in a rowboat alone. Reach out, ask for help and watch how others –and the Universe – respond.
UPCOMING EVENT
Oct. 22nd – 6 - 8:30 p.m.
Finding Your Career Mojo: A Workshop for Professionals in Career Transition
St. Edward’s University
Considering a job or career change? This highly popular seminar will help you strategically map out your next steps Register at www.careerstrategists.net/workshop.
October 29th – 7 - 8 p.m CST
*FREE* Global Teleclass on The Transformative Power of Self-Care
Register at www.ReneeTrudeau.com/calendar .
Reneé Peterson Trudeau Bio
Renée Peterson Trudeau is a nationally recognized entrepreneur, author, coach and president of Career Strategists. Trudeau’s work has been featured in US News and World Report, Working Mother, American Way, Family Circle, AARP and she is a regular speaker for Fortune 500 companies and national organizations. Trudeau is the author of the award-
winning The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life. Thousands of women around the world are joining and becoming trained to lead self-renewal groups based on the Guide, as a way to enhance balance and well being in their lives. Learn more: www.ReneeTrudeau.com and www.CareerStrategists.net.